The thing I value the most in life is sharing focused and loving attention, not just the attention for likes and outside futilities... Not the kind of attention that only feeds fragile egos... Not the kind of attention from people you don't really connect with. They only see your superficial self, not even that, they see only the reflection of themselves in you, and it's OK to understand that their conscious levels are not always in allignment with yours... That's ok for now. Let's change that, but not by forcing it, that’s a waste of useful energy, try living in truth. Moving forward by your heart's desires.
The most important idea I want to share today is the single focused act of being present, being with all of your openness.
You'll notice that by doing that simple choice, with all of your focus... Not only mental focus, try to understand that it goes far beyond mind knowlage, you'll get to experience the true value of sharing. By being present you're instantly sharing presence. You don't have to be special to do it. You just have to share that intimate space inside your heart with yourself.
Intimicy is the thing I am most afraid of and the thing I most crave also, because when the bound happens it can only grow from there... And it’s rare let's be honest here. Maybe because I failed so many times before by not trying harder ir maybe because I operate on the lower levels, shadow planes, and that’s what I end up attracting, more often. The few attempts as a young girl, found closed doors, failed behaviours of the people I depended on, we were completely unconscious of what we we were really doing to each other. It hit hard on my emotional body, and I got bitter, and I closed off, mirroring the wound perfectly. That was the beginning of a beautiful and tumultuous silent life path.
(...)
Know that when you're with someone and you love them, any kind of relationship works as an example, and you share all of your focused attention, all parts of your beingness starts to merge with the other... That's why we should all shift into focusing on becoming responsible and loving beings on this plane, by integrating all there is, step by step, dew to our linear form.
When that happens space-time expands! That's how I can describe it for now... The universe stretches along with you. Have you ever felt that? Being lifted, feeling shattered and held by loving energy at the same time? Try to picture it, feel it, as many times you want. Integration always begins with imagination.
For me that is the most beautiful loving thing about the experience of being alive... That is a life propose on its own.
Sharing attention, sharing awareness, sharing soul knowledge... Listening, being...
And when I say sharing I really say listening, you can perceive it as synonyms, if you perceive everyone as another aspect of yourself or of the self. No other kind of connection does really matter to me...
And I notice that now I finally have the courage to admit that I felt unseen for a long time, all of my youth years... As many of you... But the wall was actually built as an outcome of my multiple defense mechanisms by rejecting a great part of me that was genuine, and pure, seen previously as unworthy and not valuable. I did not know better... But I was, and I still am responsible for changing it! And for it seems, as I write with the flow, streeming along with this current energy I'm focusing on, I'm expressing it as I never did before.
Most people are off, depressed, feeling unloved and for some reason they convinced themselves that it's they're fault or that life is just like that, made to endure, to suffer, to survive...
I realised from an early age that it hurts like hell sometimes but it couldn't be they're fault to act as they did, it had to exist a good meaning on all of this, that was the first sptep on healing, and therefore it couldn't be my fault either, Boom! I felt encouraged! A revolution happened. Some major relief installed. A great new starting point.
I now try to allow myself to receive all the attention I need, and I try my best to express it, when and how I need it, no judjments allowed... I listen to my own spirit, self, being... or the cosmos itself. Expressing and feeling everything until exhaustion. To myself and a small circle of loving people I call family.
On each attempt I feel more alive. I still hide this on several levels, because I still feel people won't get it, yet, and sometimes by pure reflex and habit. This attempts were and are my newest addiction, my fuel to live.
Loneliness is kind of one of by biggest wounds to heal. I used to live as the 40% Raquel to everyone basically, that was the way in which I could blend in, I realised that everyone does that but aren't aware that they're much more. Nevertheless I still had the courage to fight "myself" back as my own calling. I'm a very stubborn person and I'm kinda proud of that. I am the lunatic I have to be for myself and that is ok.
Now it's time to speak about it, the next step on healing! So you can do the same on your terms, but only if it's your desire, if not just don't do it. Everyone has the right to live as they choose.
I always give my best, and it's rough, my best is terrible some times! And that's beautiful! It's a perspective, and I want to choose wisely. My awareness grows more and more on each attempt. I mean it doesn't really grow, it opens up more precisely.
And that's one of the reasons why I choose carefully who I share my attention with, I'd deal with you with the same responsibility I'd deal with me... That's also a desire on the making... And if you're in it it's for life, at least on my side (notice that sides are only an illusion, so it doesn't really matter!).
This gift will always be yours even if you're not here... I always let go of people if that is they're desire, I can be super cold, it's one of many of my defense mechanisms and my way of not decaying on the trap of trying to arrest someone into my egoistic reality... It's a perfect excuse! I know...
It's still hard for me to see the people I chose to bind with not do the work, still living afraid of the shadows, mirroring it perfectly, still surviving on hibernation mode, but I also feel a huge pride preceiving the positive shifting in others. Sometimes we get trapped in the completely unawarness of our inner power. Ultimately I'm still working on it too. Deep down I'm still dealing with the fact that I'm afraid to shift into an illusion where there's absence of darkness, where I do most of my work, where I feel mostly at home. That fear prevents me from integrating it on this plane. I have to release my treasure.
Everything I've been writing and expressing here so far is the affirmation of what I really crave to hear from others, so I'm allowing myself to just express it, give myself the inspiration I so crave, that's an amazing exercise if you're inspired by it go and try it. Go fail in the best way you can!
I want people to feel seen and loved, express new habits on hearing and sharing. I ask you to allow yourselves to be present, feel your presence. I let you know, as I am stating that to myself also, that it's kind of our choice. And all choices are right if we trust our timmings. Let this set in you. And know that you can choose differently every time. I see you, deeply and profoundly, not in an attached way, let your hearts sing freely.
Listening is my purpose,
It's what I do.
So I write and so I share now.
The most important idea I want to share today is the single focused act of being present, being with all of your openness.
You'll notice that by doing that simple choice, with all of your focus... Not only mental focus, try to understand that it goes far beyond mind knowlage, you'll get to experience the true value of sharing. By being present you're instantly sharing presence. You don't have to be special to do it. You just have to share that intimate space inside your heart with yourself.
Intimicy is the thing I am most afraid of and the thing I most crave also, because when the bound happens it can only grow from there... And it’s rare let's be honest here. Maybe because I failed so many times before by not trying harder ir maybe because I operate on the lower levels, shadow planes, and that’s what I end up attracting, more often. The few attempts as a young girl, found closed doors, failed behaviours of the people I depended on, we were completely unconscious of what we we were really doing to each other. It hit hard on my emotional body, and I got bitter, and I closed off, mirroring the wound perfectly. That was the beginning of a beautiful and tumultuous silent life path.
(...)
Know that when you're with someone and you love them, any kind of relationship works as an example, and you share all of your focused attention, all parts of your beingness starts to merge with the other... That's why we should all shift into focusing on becoming responsible and loving beings on this plane, by integrating all there is, step by step, dew to our linear form.
When that happens space-time expands! That's how I can describe it for now... The universe stretches along with you. Have you ever felt that? Being lifted, feeling shattered and held by loving energy at the same time? Try to picture it, feel it, as many times you want. Integration always begins with imagination.
For me that is the most beautiful loving thing about the experience of being alive... That is a life propose on its own.
Sharing attention, sharing awareness, sharing soul knowledge... Listening, being...
And when I say sharing I really say listening, you can perceive it as synonyms, if you perceive everyone as another aspect of yourself or of the self. No other kind of connection does really matter to me...
And I notice that now I finally have the courage to admit that I felt unseen for a long time, all of my youth years... As many of you... But the wall was actually built as an outcome of my multiple defense mechanisms by rejecting a great part of me that was genuine, and pure, seen previously as unworthy and not valuable. I did not know better... But I was, and I still am responsible for changing it! And for it seems, as I write with the flow, streeming along with this current energy I'm focusing on, I'm expressing it as I never did before.
Most people are off, depressed, feeling unloved and for some reason they convinced themselves that it's they're fault or that life is just like that, made to endure, to suffer, to survive...
I realised from an early age that it hurts like hell sometimes but it couldn't be they're fault to act as they did, it had to exist a good meaning on all of this, that was the first sptep on healing, and therefore it couldn't be my fault either, Boom! I felt encouraged! A revolution happened. Some major relief installed. A great new starting point.
I now try to allow myself to receive all the attention I need, and I try my best to express it, when and how I need it, no judjments allowed... I listen to my own spirit, self, being... or the cosmos itself. Expressing and feeling everything until exhaustion. To myself and a small circle of loving people I call family.
On each attempt I feel more alive. I still hide this on several levels, because I still feel people won't get it, yet, and sometimes by pure reflex and habit. This attempts were and are my newest addiction, my fuel to live.
Loneliness is kind of one of by biggest wounds to heal. I used to live as the 40% Raquel to everyone basically, that was the way in which I could blend in, I realised that everyone does that but aren't aware that they're much more. Nevertheless I still had the courage to fight "myself" back as my own calling. I'm a very stubborn person and I'm kinda proud of that. I am the lunatic I have to be for myself and that is ok.
Now it's time to speak about it, the next step on healing! So you can do the same on your terms, but only if it's your desire, if not just don't do it. Everyone has the right to live as they choose.
I always give my best, and it's rough, my best is terrible some times! And that's beautiful! It's a perspective, and I want to choose wisely. My awareness grows more and more on each attempt. I mean it doesn't really grow, it opens up more precisely.
And that's one of the reasons why I choose carefully who I share my attention with, I'd deal with you with the same responsibility I'd deal with me... That's also a desire on the making... And if you're in it it's for life, at least on my side (notice that sides are only an illusion, so it doesn't really matter!).
This gift will always be yours even if you're not here... I always let go of people if that is they're desire, I can be super cold, it's one of many of my defense mechanisms and my way of not decaying on the trap of trying to arrest someone into my egoistic reality... It's a perfect excuse! I know...
It's still hard for me to see the people I chose to bind with not do the work, still living afraid of the shadows, mirroring it perfectly, still surviving on hibernation mode, but I also feel a huge pride preceiving the positive shifting in others. Sometimes we get trapped in the completely unawarness of our inner power. Ultimately I'm still working on it too. Deep down I'm still dealing with the fact that I'm afraid to shift into an illusion where there's absence of darkness, where I do most of my work, where I feel mostly at home. That fear prevents me from integrating it on this plane. I have to release my treasure.
Everything I've been writing and expressing here so far is the affirmation of what I really crave to hear from others, so I'm allowing myself to just express it, give myself the inspiration I so crave, that's an amazing exercise if you're inspired by it go and try it. Go fail in the best way you can!
I want people to feel seen and loved, express new habits on hearing and sharing. I ask you to allow yourselves to be present, feel your presence. I let you know, as I am stating that to myself also, that it's kind of our choice. And all choices are right if we trust our timmings. Let this set in you. And know that you can choose differently every time. I see you, deeply and profoundly, not in an attached way, let your hearts sing freely.
Listening is my purpose,
It's what I do.
So I write and so I share now.
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